1984 Chapter 4: English Reading for Beginners (Uma leitura guiada em inglês) (MEMBERS)

1984

Chapter 4

Ownlife

Winston sits at the table and opens his diary. He thinks of his parents. He was, he thinks, about ten or eleven years old when his mother disappeared. She was a tall, silent woman with lovely fair hair. He cannot remember his father so well. He was dark and thin and always wore dark clothes. They were both vaporized in the 1950s. His thoughts move to other women and he starts writing in the diary:

‘It was three years ago. It was on a dark evening, in a small street near one of the big train stations. She had a young face with a lot of makeup. I liked the makeup. I liked her white face and the bright red lips. No woman in the Party wore makeup. There was nobody else in the street and no telescreens. She said two dollars. I…’

It is too difficult to continue. Winston wants to hit his head against the wall, to kick the table over and throw the diary through the window - anything to stop the memory of that night.

It is, of course, illegal to pay a woman for sex. But the punishment is about five years in a work camp, not death. The Party knows it happens. Some prole women sell themselves for a bottle of gin and the Party doesn’t worry much about that. The Party wants to stop love and pleasure in sex, not sex itself. A request to marry will be refused if a man and a woman find each other attractive. Sex, to the Party, is only necessary to make children.

He thinks of Katherine, his wife. Winston used to be married. He probably still is married; if his wife is dead, nobody told him. They lived together for about fifteen months, nine, ten, eleven years ago. Katherine was a tall, blond-haired girl who moved well. She had an interesting face, until you found out that there was almost nothing behind it. She believed everything the Party said. She had sex only because it was her duty to try and have children. When no children came, they agreed to separate.

Every two or three years since then, Winston found a prole woman who agreed to have sex for money. But he wanted his own woman. He finished the story in his diary:

When I saw her in the light she was quite an old woman. She had no teeth at all. But I had sex with her.”

He writes it down at last, but it does not help. He still wants to shout and scream.

Winston puts the pen down and remembers. He walked several kilometers that night. It was the second time in three weeks that he missed an evening at the Party Members’ Club. This was not a good idea; your attendance at the Club was carefully monitored. A Party member has no free time and is never alone except in bed. It is dangerous to do anything alone, even go for a walk. There is a word for it in Newspeak: ownlife, it is called, meaning separation from everybody else.

He was walking in a prole area near a building that was, in the past, an important train station. The houses were small and dirty and reminded him of ratholes. There were hundreds of people in the streets: pretty young girls, young men chasing the girls, fat old women (who were pretty young girls themselves ten years earlier). Dirty children with no shoes ran through the mud.

The people looked at him strangely. The blue overalls of the Party were an unusual sight in a street like this. It was not safe to be seen in places like this, unless you had a definite reason to be there. The Thought Police would stop you if they saw you.

Suddenly everybody was shouting and screaming and running back into their rathole houses. A man in a black suit ran past Winston and pointed at the sky.

"Bomb," he shouted. "Up there! Bomb!"

Winston threw himself to the ground. The proles were usually right when they warned you that a bomb was falling. When he stood up, he was covered with bits of glass from broken windows. He continued walking. The bomb destroyed a group of houses two hundred meters up the street and in front of him he saw a human hand, cut off at the wrist. He kicked it to the side of the road and turned right, away from the crowd.

He was in a narrow street with a few dark little shops among the houses. He seemed to know the place. Of course! He was standing outside the shop where he bought the diary. He was afraid, suddenly. He was out of his mind to buy the diary, and he promised himself he would never come near this place again. But he noticed that the shop was still open, although it was nearly twenty-one hours. He would be safer inside than standing there doing nothing outside, so he went in. If anyone asked, he could say he was trying to buy a razor blade.

The owner just lit a hanging oil lamp which smelled dirty but friendly. He was a small, gentle-looking man of about sixty with a long nose and heavy glasses. His hair was almost white but the rest of his face looked surprisingly young. He looked like a writer, or perhaps a musician. His voice was soft and he didn't speak like a prole.

"I recognized you when you were outside," he said immediately. "You're the gentleman who bought the diary. There’s beautiful paper in that diary. No paper like that has been made for - oh, I’d say fifty years." He looked at Winston over the top of his glasses. "Is there anything special I can do for you? Or did you just want to look around?"

"I was . . . er . . . passing," said Winston. "And I just came in. I don't want to buy anything."

"Well, that's all right," said the shop owner, "because I don’t have much to sell you." He looked around the shop sadly. "Don't tell anyone I told you this, but It's difficult to get old things these days. And when you can get them nobody wants them." The old man's shop was full of things, but they were all cheap and dirty and useless. "There's another room upstairs that you could look at," he said. Winston followed the man upstairs. The room was a bedroom with furniture in it. There was a bed under the window, taking nearly a quarter of the room.

"We lived here for thirty years until my wife died," said the old man sadly. "I'm selling the furniture, slowly. That’s a beautiful bed, but perhaps it would be too big for you?"

Winston thought he could probably rent the room for a few dollars a week, if he dared to. It would be so peaceful to live as people used to live in the past, with no voice talking to you, nobody watching you… "There’s no telescreen," he said.

"Ah!" said the old man. "I never had one. Too expensive."

There was a picture on the wall. It showed a London church that used to be famous, in the days when churches were famous and people still went to them. Winston did not buy the picture, but he stayed in the room talking to the old man whose name, he discovered, was Charrington.

Even when he left he was still thinking about renting the room. But then, as he stepped into the street, his heart turned to ice. A woman in blue overalls was walking towards him, no more than ten meters away. It was the girl with dark hair, the one in the Young People's League. The girl must be following him. Even if she was not in the Thought Police, she must be a spy.

The Thought Police would come for him one night. They always came at night and they always caught you. And before they killed you, before you asked them on your knees to forgive you for your thoughtcrime, there would be a lot of pain.

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Tradução: Miguel Toscano

Chapter 4
Capítulo 4

Ownlife
Vidaprópria

Winston sits at the table and opens his diary.
Winston se senta à mesa e abre seu diário.

He thinks of his parents. He was, he thinks, about ten or eleven years old when his mother disappeared.
Ele pensa em seus pais. Ele tinha, ele pensa, cerca de dez ou onze anos quando sua mãe desapareceu.

She was a tall, silent woman with lovely fair hair.
Ela era uma mulher alta e silenciosa com lindos cabelos louros.

He cannot remember his father so well. He was dark and thin and always wore dark clothes.
Ele não consegue se lembrar de seu pai tão bem. Ele era moreno e magro e sempre usava roupas escuras.

They were both vaporized in the 1950s.
Ambos foram vaporizados na década de 1950.

His thoughts move to other women and he starts writing in the diary:
Seus pensamentos se movem para outras mulheres e ele começa a escrever no diário:

‘It was three years ago. It was on a dark evening, in a small street near one of the big train stations.
‘Foi há três anos. Foi em uma noite escura, em uma pequena rua perto de uma das grandes estações de trem.

She had a young face with a lot of makeup. I liked the makeup. I liked her white face and the bright red lips.
Ela tinha um rosto jovem com muita maquiagem. Eu gostei da maquiagem. Gostei do rosto branco e dos lábios vermelhos brilhantes.

No woman in the Party wore makeup.
Nenhuma mulher do Partido usava maquiagem.

There was nobody else in the street and no telescreens. She said two dollars. I…’
Não havia mais ninguém na rua e nem teletelas. Ela disse dois dólares. Eu…'

It is too difficult to continue.
É muito difícil continuar.

Winston wants to hit his head against the wall, to kick the table over and throw the diary through the window - anything to stop the memory of that night.
Winston quer bater a cabeça na parede, chutar a mesa e jogar o diário pela janela - qualquer coisa para interromper a memória daquela noite.

It is, of course, illegal to pay a woman for sex.
É, claramente, ilegal pagar uma mulher por sexo.

But the punishment is about five years in a work camp, not death.
Mas a punição é de cerca de cinco anos em um campo de trabalho, não a morte.

The Party knows it happens.
O Partido sabe que isso acontece.

Some prole women sell themselves for a bottle of gin and the Party doesn’t worry much about that.
Algumas mulheres proletárias se vendem por uma garrafa de gim e o Partido não se preocupa muito com isso.

The Party wants to stop love and pleasure in sex, not sex itself.
O Partido quer acabar com o amor e o prazer no sexo, não com o sexo em si.

A request to marry will be refused if a man and a woman find each other attractive.
Um pedido de casamento será recusado se um homem e uma mulher se acharem atraentes.

Sex, to the Party, is only necessary to make children.
Sexo, para o Partido, só é necessário para fazer filhos.

He thinks of Katherine, his wife. Winston used to be married.
Ele pensa em Katherine, sua esposa. Winston costumava ser casado.

He probably still is married; if his wife is dead, nobody told him.
Ele provavelmente ainda é casado; se sua esposa está morta, ninguém lhe disse.

They lived together for about fifteen months, nine, ten, eleven years ago.
Eles viveram juntos por cerca de quinze meses, nove, dez, onze anos atrás.

Katherine was a tall, blond-haired girl who moved well.
Katherine era uma garota alta de cabelos loiros que se movia bem.

She had an interesting face, until you found out that there was almost nothing behind it. She believed everything the Party said.
Ela tinha um rosto interessante, até você descobrir que não havia quase nada por trás dele. Ela acreditava em tudo que o Partido dizia.

She had sex only because it was her duty to try and have children.
Ela só fazia sexo porque era seu dever tentar ter filhos.

When no children came, they agreed to separate.
Quando nenhuma criança veio, eles concordaram em se separar.

Every two or three years since then, Winston found a prole woman who agreed to have sex for money.
A cada dois ou três anos desde então, Winston encontrava uma proletária que aceitava fazer sexo por dinheiro.

But he wanted his own woman.
Mas ele queria sua própria mulher.

He finished the story in his diary:
Ele terminou a história em seu diário:

When I saw her in the light she was quite an old woman. She had no teeth at all.
Quando a vi na luz, ela era uma mulher bem velha. Ela não tinha nenhum dente.

But I had sex with her.”
Mas eu fiz sexo com ela.”

He writes it down at last, but it does not help.
Ele finalmente escreve, mas não ajuda.

He still wants to shout and scream.
Ele ainda quer gritar e berrar.

Winston puts the pen down and remembers.
Winston abaixa a caneta e se lembra.

He walked several kilometers that night.
Ele andou vários quilômetros naquela noite.

It was the second time in three weeks that he missed an evening at the Party Members’ Club.
Era a segunda vez em três semanas que ele perdia uma noite no Clube de Membros do Partido.

This was not a good idea; your attendance at the Club was carefully monitored.
Essa não foi uma boa ideia; sua presença no Clube era cuidadosamente monitorada.

A Party member has no free time and is never alone except in bed. It is dangerous to do anything alone, even go for a walk.
Um membro do Partido não tem tempo livre e nunca está sozinho, exceto na cama. É perigoso fazer qualquer coisa sozinho, até mesmo dar um passeio.

There is a word for it in Newspeak: ownlife (vidaprópria), it is called, meaning separation from everybody else.
Há uma palavra para isso em Novafala: vidaprópria, é chamado, significando separação de todos os outros.

He was walking in a prole area near a building that was, in the past, an important train station.
Ele estava andando em uma área de proletários perto de um prédio que foi, no passado, uma importante estação de trem.

The houses were small and dirty and reminded him of ratholes.
As casas eram pequenas e sujas e lembravam-lhe buracos de rato.

There were hundreds of people in the streets: pretty young girls, young men chasing the girls, fat old women (who were pretty young girls themselves ten years earlier).
Havia centenas de pessoas nas ruas: moças bonitas, rapazes perseguindo as moças, velhas gordas (que eram elas mesmas moças bonitas dez anos antes).

Dirty children with no shoes ran through the mud.
Crianças sujas e sem sapatos corriam pela lama.

The people looked at him strangely.
As pessoas olhavam para ele estranhamente.

The blue overalls of the Party were an unusual sight in a street like this.
O macacão azul do Partido era uma visão incomum em uma rua como esta.

It was not safe to be seen in places like this, unless you had a definite reason to be there.
Não era seguro ser visto em lugares como este, a menos que você tivesse uma razão definida para estar lá.

The Thought Police would stop you if they saw you.
A Polícia do Pensamento iria pará-lo se o visse.

Suddenly everybody was shouting and screaming and running back into their rathole houses.
De repente, todo mundo estava gritando e berrando e correndo de volta para suas casas de buracos de ratos.

A man in a black suit ran past Winston and pointed at the sky.

"Bomb," he shouted. "Up there! Bomb!"
Um homem de terno preto passou por Winston e apontou para o céu.

"Bomba", ele gritou. "Lá em cima! Bomba!"

Winston threw himself to the ground.
Winston se jogou no chão.

The proles were usually right when they warned you that a bomb was falling.
Os proletários geralmente estavam certos quando avisavam que uma bomba estava caindo.

When he stood up, he was covered with bits of glass from broken windows. He continued walking.
Quando se levantou, estava coberto de cacos de vidro de janelas quebradas. Ele continuou andando.

The bomb destroyed a group of houses two hundred meters up the street and in front of him he saw a human hand, cut off at the wrist.
A bomba destruiu um grupo de casas a duzentos metros subindo a rua e na frente dele ele viu uma mão humana, cortada no pulso.

He kicked it to the side of the road and turned right, away from the crowd.
Ele a chutou para o canto da estrada e virou à direita, longe da multidão.

He was in a narrow street with a few dark little shops among the houses.
Ele estava em uma rua estreita com algumas lojinhas escuras entre as casas.

He seemed to know the place.
Ele parecia conhecer o lugar.

Of course! He was standing outside the shop where he bought the diary.
Claro! Ele estava do lado de fora da loja onde comprou o diário.

He was afraid, suddenly.
Ele estava com medo, de repente.

He was out of his mind to buy the diary, and he promised himself he would never come near this place again.
Ele estava fora de si para comprar o diário e prometeu a si mesmo que nunca mais chegaria perto deste lugar.

But he noticed that the shop was still open, although it was nearly twenty-one hours.
Mas ele notou que a loja ainda estava aberta, embora fosse quase vinte e uma horas.

He would be safer inside than standing there doing nothing outside, so he went in.
Ele estaria mais seguro lá dentro do que ficar ali sem fazer nada do lado de fora, então ele entrou.

If anyone asked, he could say he was trying to buy a razor blade.
Se alguém perguntasse, ele poderia dizer que estava tentando comprar uma lâmina de barbear.

The owner just lit a hanging oil lamp which smelled dirty but friendly.
O proprietário havia acabado de acender uma lâmpada de óleo pendurada que cheirava a sujeira, mas amigável.

He was a small, gentle-looking man of about sixty with a long nose and heavy glasses.
Ele era um homem pequeno, de aparência gentil, com cerca de sessenta anos, nariz comprido e óculos pesados.

His hair was almost white but the rest of his face looked surprisingly young.
Seu cabelo era quase branco, mas o resto de seu rosto parecia surpreendentemente jovem.

He looked like a writer, or perhaps a musician. His voice was soft and he didn't speak like a prole.
Ele parecia um escritor, ou talvez um músico. Sua voz era suave e ele não falava como um proletário.

"I recognized you when you were outside," he said immediately.
"Eu reconheci você quando você estava lá fora", disse ele imediatamente.

"You're the gentleman who bought the diary. There’s beautiful paper in that diary. No paper like that has been made for - oh, I’d say fifty years."
"Você é o cavalheiro que comprou o diário. Há um papel lindo naquele diário. Nenhum papel como aquele foi feito há uns - ah, eu diria uns cinquenta anos."

He looked at Winston over the top of his glasses. "Is there anything special I can do for you? Or did you just want to look around?"
Ele olhou para Winston por cima dos óculos. "Há algo especial que eu possa fazer por você? Ou você só quer dar uma olhada?"

"I was . . . er . . . passing," said Winston. "And I just came in. I don't want to buy anything."
"Eu estava... er... passando", disse Winston. "E eu só entrei. Não quero comprar nada."

"Well, that's all right," said the shop owner, "because I don’t have much to sell you."
"Bem, tudo bem", disse o dono da loja, "porque não tenho muito para vender a você."

He looked around the shop sadly.
Ele olhou ao redor da loja com tristeza.

"Don't tell anyone I told you this, but It's difficult to get old things these days.
"Não conte a ninguém que eu te disse isso, mas é difícil conseguir coisas velhas hoje em dia.

And when you can get them nobody wants them."
E quando você as consegue, ninguém as quer."

The old man's shop was full of things, but they were all cheap and dirty and useless."
A loja do velho estava cheia de coisas, mas todas baratas, sujas e inúteis."

There's another room upstairs that you could look at," he said.
Há outro cômodo no andar de cima que você pode olhar", disse ele.

Winston followed the man upstairs.
Winston seguiu o homem escada acima.

The room was a bedroom with furniture in it.
O cômodo era um quarto com móveis.

There was a bed under the window, taking nearly a quarter of the room.
Havia uma cama sob a janela, ocupando quase um quarto do cômodo.

"We lived here for thirty years until my wife died," said the old man sadly.
"Nós vivemos aqui por trinta anos até que minha esposa morreu", disse o velho com tristeza.

"I'm selling the furniture, slowly.
"Estou vendendo os móveis, aos poucos.

That’s a beautiful bed, but perhaps it would be too big for you?"
Essa é uma cama linda, mas talvez fosse grande demais para você?"

Winston thought he could probably rent the room for a few dollars a week, if he dared to.
Winston pensou que provavelmente poderia alugar o quarto por alguns dólares por semana, se ousasse.

It would be so peaceful to live as people used to live in the past, with no voice talking to you, nobody watching you…
Seria tão tranquilo viver como as pessoas viviam no passado, sem voz falando com você, ninguém te observando...

"There’s no telescreen," he said.
"Não há teletela", disse ele.

"Ah!" said the old man. "I never had one. Too expensive."
"Ah!" disse o velho. "Eu nunca tive uma. Muito caro."

There was a picture on the wall. It showed a London church that used to be famous, in the days when churches were famous and people still went to them.
Havia um quadro na parede. Mostrava uma igreja de Londres que costumava ser famosa, nos dias em que as igrejas eram famosas e as pessoas ainda iam a elas.

Winston did not buy the picture, but he stayed in the room talking to the old man whose name, he discovered, was Charrington.
Winston não comprou o quadro, mas ficou na sala conversando com o velho cujo nome, descobriu, era Charrington.

Even when he left he was still thinking about renting the room.
Mesmo quando ele saiu ele ainda estava pensando em alugar o quarto.

But then, as he stepped into the street, his heart turned to ice.
Mas então, assim que pisou na rua, seu coração gelou.

A woman in blue overalls was walking towards him, no more than ten meters away.
Uma mulher de macacão azul caminhava em sua direção, a não mais de dez metros de distância.

It was the girl with dark hair, the one in the Young People's League.
Era a garota de cabelo escuro, a da Liga dos Jovens.

The girl must be following him.
A garota deve estar seguindo ele.

Even if she was not in the Thought Police, she must be a spy.
Mesmo que ela não estivesse na Polícia do Pensamento, ela deve ser uma espiã.

The Thought Police would come for him one night.
A Polícia do Pensamento viria buscá-lo uma noite.

They always came at night and they always caught you.
Eles sempre vinham à noite e sempre pegavam você.

And before they killed you, before you asked them on your knees to forgive you for your thoughtcrime, there would be a lot of pain.
E antes que eles matassem você, antes que você pedisse a eles de joelhos para perdoá-lo por seu pensamento-crime, haveria muita dor.